self-improvement, the doldrums

inevitably, the days come where the initial exhilaration  leaves you and improvement is gradual.

i had my initial reduction and although my eyes are growing stronger, it is hard to keep the state of mind to focus on these longer term goals. perhaps we all go through this – perhaps why measurement helps us. i find it hard to do the eye focus measurement of centimeters when it seems to vary so much and yet the Snellen is also difficult because our apartment is so small and removed from natural light.

It’s like the exercise. I began last year in the Fall and was extremely motivated, including the Intermittent Fasting. At least now it’s always 3x a week, at least an hour long yoga, sometimes Cardio (I hate).



this is the state where your eyeball is in it’s Zen state.

from Wikipedia 2/16/18:

Emmetropia is a state in which the eye is relaxed and focused on an object more than 6 meters or 20 feet away. The light rays coming from that object are essentially parallel, and the rays are focused on the retina without effort. If the gaze shifts to something closer, light rays from the source are too divergent to be focused without effort. In other words, the eye is automatically focused on things in the distance unless a conscious effort is made to focus elsewhere. For a wild animal or human prehistorical ancestors, this arrangement would be adaptive because it allows for alertness to predators or prey at a distance.

Accommodation of the lens does not occur in emmetropia. In emmetropia, the lens is about 3.6 mm thick at the center; in accommodation, it thickens to about 4.5 mm. A relatively thin lens and relatively dilated pupil are also associated. The lens usually stiffens with age, causing less ability to focus when the eyes are not in a state of emmetropia.[1]

Corrective eye surgery such as LASIK and PRK aims to correct anemmetropic vision. This is accomplished by ensuring the curvature of the cornea, the shape of the lens and their distances from each other and the retina are in harmony. By shaping the cornea, emmetropic vision can be achieved without corrective lenses. The correction for only emmetropic vision is often why patients are still advised to wear glasses to read as they age due to presbyopia.[2]

Newborns begin hypermetropic and then undergo a myopic shift to become emmetropic.[citat

the journey is long…

my initial days started out with excitement, which then leads to finding out more, and then the work starts in. i’m still waiting for my ‘differential’ glasses, the ones for doing close-up work. since i’m crunching currently on The Overweight Brain, i’m doing alot of intense computer eye work, and despite working with my ‘dropped’ prescriptions, which are .5 diopters off L and ‘at prescription’ for the R side, i can feel that i’m already a bit hypernormalised.

… I see…

It seems reasonable to add something to this sight blog, as nothing has moved for years, and quite recently something finally has.

Through the miracle of social media (aka Facebook), I discovered there are people out there as interested in resolving their inability to naturally see as myself. I’d pretty much worn myself out as far as finding anything that wasn’t dead wood still trying to eke out as much as they could from the Bates Methodology. I felt that they weren’t getting very far either. And suddenly, I find Endmyopia – interesting…and lo, there are people there gaining traction. And, the man heading it up, a Jake Steiner, had eyes about as bad as mine and is down to 20/20. There’s hope! And not just from old books from the 70’s asking me to visualize and feel love emanating. With the sensibility of a post millenial era, there is a focus on active muscle work, physics of eyeballs and plenty of web-based legitimate research, plus the ability to connect with people in real time to discuss and ask for help.

With this knowledge in pocket, I began in November 2017 to do ‘Active Focus’ (recently described by someone as the mythological Unicorn of the beginner) with not much success. I hemmed and hawed as to how and which ‘differential eyeglasses’ to get and grappled with the fact that I might have ‘Blur Adaptation’ since I had asked my Opthamologist to underprescribe me glasses.

It was elusive, and I just could not get it. My experience of now what I think is referred to as ‘Ciliary Spasm’ is that as soon as I begin focusing my eyes feel very uncomfortable and tear up immediately. I blink and the illusion of clear sight is gone. I asked members of Endmyopia if this feeling was shared, and a few did, so armed with this knowledge I workeded through and this feeling has clarified. Especially if I have access to distance – I found this challenging in the city, but one day – not wearing glasses while walking Moka, I looked up at a No Parking sign from about 5 feet away and the large letters zoomed into focus! And I was able to do it again (whilst blinking back the tears)! We went to the Johnson Family Farm out in New Jersey last weekend and throughout the drive, I tried my new tool for focusing. By the time we got back in the City, I could see quite reliably, license plates (one letter at a time) in front of us, street signs from 20 feet away, and even quite sharply the text in the Lord of the Rings book as I read aloud to the family on the drive back.  Now I am doing the Active Focus as often as I can without glasses in walking familiar routes and while sitting on the subway, which adds up to about 20-30 minutes a day minimum.

Earlier this week, I went to visit Dr. Cohen. I wanted to get a sense of where I am at on the start of this leg of the vision journey. I also asked him to define why Myopes are at risk for Macular Degeneration. He explained that it wasn’t M.D. which was the problem but Retinal Detachment. Apparently, retinal cells cannot multiply to accommodate elongated eyeballs, so retinal tissue can be stretched too thin at the periphery and detach. Eew. My retinas are always perfect and I’ve had the same prescription since I was in High School. I had been prescribed an objective R: -5.0 L: -6.0. That meant -5.5 for contacts. As, I asked him last year for an underprescription to deal with my burgeoning Presbyopia – I could no longer see close-up with my standard prescription, I asked for an objective Re-measuring. I am now R: -5.0 L: -6! Of course, he said this is minor and behavior that can vary (of course). I can’t wait to drop a diopter or two!